


Dreams and Visions

by synoct



Category: The Rose (Band), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Cheating, History, M/M, Reincarnation, a bit angst, some in joseon era, some in recent era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 03:26:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17317178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synoct/pseuds/synoct
Summary: Being lovers in the Joseon era, Minhyun and Jaehwan meet again in their next lifetime. It becomes complicated because Jaehwan already has a boyfriend, Lee Jaehyeong.





	Dreams and Visions

**Author's Note:**

> first, i want to thank the people behind the Winter Wonderland events for giving me this opportunity to share my work for Jaehwan fic.  
> also, thank you for the prompt owner. i tried my best to make a story from the prompt. i don't know whether you expect the story would be split by some lifetimes or only two lifetimes. i made it into only 2 lifetimes because at the first time i read the prompt, i didn't think too far. i hope it meets your expectation. but, not long ago, i found reincarnation minhwan fic from mh_dusk event that really suit your prompt too. maybe you can check there. :)
> 
> english isn't my first language, but i tried as hard as i can to deliver the story with the limited vocabularies i have.

That was a sunny Sunday. Jaehwan took a bus and rode it for around 20 minutes before reaching the Joseon Museum. His favorite place. For uncounted times he went there. "Feels like home," he said. Arrived at the museum he is welcomed by pictures of traditional houses in Joseon Era hanging on the wall in the main room. He continues to the second room which consisted of many different kinds of hanboks that were used by people in Joseon Era. He continues to the next room which exhibits many traditional tools that people in Joseon used for cooking, sewing, cleaning and doing chores. The next room exhibits war equipment that were hanged on the wall or placed inside some glass boxes. The last room would be Jaehwan's favorite room which exhibits many jewelries that people in Joseon era used or had as collections of their wealth. He stops in front of The Rose Quartz Stone collections box inside the last room. It is placed in the center of the room. Inside it, there are the dusty pink colored stones have a similar texture with Jade. He stares at them for a long time. There is a feeling he can't explain, the mixture of a sorrowful and a happy feeling. Jaehwan then moves his eye to the small board at the down below of side of the box. There is an explanation about the stone. 

 

Rose Quartz Stone

One of the popular stone in the joseon era. The young people who were in love at the time usually give the stone to the one they love. They believe that it can open someone's heart center, and restoring love and trust. 

   
At the time, He is in the middle of staring the stones daringly when someone comes.   
"Have we met before?" A voice heard and felt like it's supposed to him to answer. Jaehwan turns his head trying to find the source of the voice. A smiling face welcoming him. Never he found someone with warm eyes like that. The sorrowful and the happy feeling he felt before now mixed with a peaceful feeling. 

"Pardon?" Jaehwan asked. The young man chuckled.

"ah, maybe I’ve met someone that looks like you. You look familiar but i can't recall." Said the young man who's his height is around 6 cm taller than Jaehwan.

"Ah, that's also always happened to me. Mistaking people with someone i know." Jaehwan tried to answer in a friendly way to the stranger. 

"Anyway, i’m Hwang Minhyun." The young man, who has a name Minhyun, cranes his hand to Jaehwan, proposes a shake hands. The shake hands which changes Jaehwan's life since then. 

 

Someone suddenly back hugs Jaehwan while he and Minhyun are in the middle of the conversation. From the way he embraces him, Jaehwan knows already that it is Jaehyeong, his boyfriend. Jaehyeong sometimes picks Jaehwan up at the museum and they go to date after that. Minhyun, who is in the middle of sharing the story of how he became interested in history, looks startled for a second.

"You came?" Jaehwan asked his boyfriend.

"Yeah.. looks like i disturbed your conversation. Your new friend?" Jaehyeong asked Jaehwan while looking at Minhyun who he has never met before and were awkward being in front of the couple who were cuddling. 

"Hm.. yeah, he has the same interested with me in history and relics. He often goes here too but i just met him today." Jaehwan explained. 

"So, you two just had a cross fate?" Jaehyeong replied with a little laugh. 

After they excuse themselves, Jaehwan and Jaehyeong left Minhyun alone there. Minhyun sees them walk hand by hand while they tease each other. He lifts his right hand that is holding something. A name card.

Kim Jaehwan  
+82 4685 XXX  
 

***

That was a sunny Sunday in Joseon era. Jaehwan was in the library to study for government officer test. Suddenly the tall boy who he has been in crushed to recently passed him by. He took a peek, from the gap formed by the books, to the boy who sat on one of the chairs in the room. He could only see the back of the boy. Nothing much he could see. He continued reading the book he held. When Jaehwan was busy reading a book for a while, suddenly a hand grabbed his hand and he’s escorted to the corner of the library. His crush did it. 

"I know you were always looking at me every time i was here." The boy said. Jaehwan didn't have the courage to see the boy. He looked down on the ground instead. Too embarrassed to raise his head to the boy who was taller than him.

"It's okay. Because i like you too. Do you want to date with me?" The boy continued. Jaehwan was taken aback and he could feel that there was a smirk in the other lips. He raised his head to make sure that what he just heard was true. When he wants to find the truth, he wakes up. 

 

Jaehwan lays on his bed. His head looks straight up to the ceiling of his room. He needs some time to realized what just happened to him was only a dream. 

"The dream felt so real!" He whispered to himself. 

He wakes up right away and does his morning routine. Preparing his breakfast and taking a bath and ready to go to work. As usual, his boyfriend calls him every morning when Jaehwan has his breakfast. It is their daily routine to call each other and talk about their plans that day. Since Jaehyeong is really busy lately, they couldn't meet often, so the morning call is a must. They usually talk for a half hour. Usually, they end their conversation after Jaehyeong arrived at his office. 

It is 11 am in his office when Jaehwan just finished some of his work that day and ready to take a break. Suddenly, he receives a message from an unknown number. He looks down at his phone on his table, near his computer, and picks up the phone.

"Wanna have lunch together?

-the museum boy, Minhyun"

Jaehwan was taken aback for a while before he starts typing the replying message. He tries to recall Minhyun's face because he almost forgets him. A tall young man with brown hair and fox eyes. They met at the museum more than a week ago.

"Hi, minhyun ssi, i thought you wouldn't contact me. Sure, why not?" 

 

They meet a half hour later at the restaurant that can be reached by car in 15 minutes from the two workplaces. Minhyun comes with a white shirt and a dark brown necktie, his style looks different from the one he used at the museum before, jeans and a white t-shirt. His smile eyes still mesmerizing the other. 

That was the first time Jaehwan meet him properly after they introduced themselves at the museum. He never gets bored talking with Minhyun since the first time they meet especially because there is no one ever liked history and relics as Minhyun does in Jaehwan's circle. People usually nicknamed Jaehwan as a boring boy because he’s like an old man who finds history interesting. So, he and Minhyun were like found a clicked friend.   
They talk many things about Joseon history and its relics, and it gives each other more knowledge they had haven't known before. Feeling comfortable with each other, they make a plan to do a historical tour in Gyeongbokgung Palace this weekend. 

 

"Baby, let's meet tomorrow," Jaehyeong asked Jaehwan on the phone. 

"Hyung, I already made a plan with my friend tomorrow. Should i cancel it? We haven't met for two weeks," Jaehwan feels guilty. 

"Ouch, too bad, i'm a little bit late i guess. It's okay, we can re-schedule it next time." Jaehyun replied. If he should choose, of course, Jaehwan wants to cancel his historical tour with Minhyun more. It is already so long that he and his boyfriend haven’t met each other. Not long after that, Jaehwan gets a message from Minhyun.  

"See you tomorrow at Gyeongbokgung Palace :)" 

 

***

Jaehwan and Minhyun joint in a group consisted of 10 people with a tour guide. They stay at the most behind. That's not the first time they join the program. Too often to be exact. But, it's always interesting for them to hear the stories even though they hear it many times. After 20 minutes walking, they arrive at the old tree that is still there since the Joseon era. The guide explains that the tree was often used by some couples in the afternoon. They usually sit on the ground and laid their back on the tree. 

The guide's voice disappeared gradually and Jaehwan felt like he went back through time. He saw himself sit on the exact tree but much smaller. There was another boy sits beside him. They were using hanbok. Each of them was reading a book. The two preparing for government officer test. 

"I hope we will be admitted to be government officers and would be placed in the same region," Jaehwan said. 

"Even if we are placed in the different regions, we still can meet each other every few months." The other boy said. 

Jaehwan is back to his consciousness after Minhyun called and tugged him several times. 

"Looks like you have something in your mind? Is everything okay?" minhyun asked. Jaehwan needs time to proceed Minhyun's question.   
_What did i just see? I feel like i was in a different dimension earlier._

   
Jaehwan sits on the bench when Minhyun approaches him with 2 cups of Americano.  
"Here. You looked tired earlier." Minhyun said that as he cranes one of the cups to Jaehwan. Jaehwan doesn't know what to reply for a while. He isn't used to being taken care by an acquaintance he isn't close to yet like that, but he manages to say "thank you" as appreciation.   
Minhyun sits beside him, looks up to the clear sky. The weather feels really nice today. The temperature also perfect. 220 C. Jaehwan looks at Minhyun who sits at his left side and asks,  
"Do you believe in the past life?" Minhyun turns his head to Jaehwan. For many times, Minhyun's eyes too distractive that Jaehwan thinks he shouldn't put a smiley vibe into it, especially to him an acquaintance who he just met 2 weeks ago and has a boyfriend.   
"I'm more to believe that it exists," Minhyun said.   
"So, you believe of the existence of reincarnation?" Jaehwan asked again.  
"Sort of. But, that's not the main point of it. I think the purpose of the reincarnation itself is to fix yourself and become a better person in your new life." Minhyun continued. There is silence for a while and Jaehwan looks for the right words to ask another question.   
"What will you do if you find your lover in the past now?" Jaehwan asked. Surely, Jaehwan seems to bother with the dreams and vision he's got recently.  
"I will run after him." Minhyun looks at Jaehwan in the eyes as if he meant his words.  
"What will you do if he doesn't love you?" Jaehwan kept asking.   
"I'll make him too," Minhyun answers it short.  
"Why? Isn't it possible if he has a new one now? Why didn't you just let him go?" Jaehwan doesn't know why he really wants to criticize it.   
"I just think that if something ever worked for once, it'll work in the next life too. So, when i try to fight for it, i don't fight for myself only but for the other person too. Why don't you see it in his point of view? Maybe he's looking for you too." Minhyun still looking at Jaehwan. His smiley vibe in his eyes is a bit disappear now. Jaehwan learns that Minhyun can be a very warm person or a strict person at other time. He didn't ask more to avoid any further argumentation.

The friendly date he just had with Minhyun left him a deep impression of Minhyun. They start to talk more private things now. Jaehwan got home after they had spent 3 hours friendly date. Minhyun offered him a drive home as their apartment were in the same direction.

***  
Jaehwan rushes himself to his table and surfs the internet. He wants to feed his curiosity about dreams and visions he's got these days. 

 

_does dream has a meaning?_

_can someone see past life?_

 

He's gone through several articles. There are some different opinions about it but most of them said that human can see his past life through dreams and visions. 

 

_Not all people have the ability. People who have the ability, only people who have a big desire to meet again with people they love in their past life and God grant him the wishes because of their good deeds in the past life._

 

Jaehwan keeps silent after concluded his search result. Many things come to his mind now. All dreams and visions he’s got these days always show him the scene of him and his boyfriend in the past. He's questioning the meaning of all these visions and dreams.

_Was i really want to meet him again in this life? Should i look for him?_

Jaehwan tries hard to remember the face of the boy but he couldn't and then he gave up. He also asked himself,   
_if i find him, what will i do?_

 

Jaehyeong suddenly shows up in front of Jaehwan's apartment. He pushes Jaehwan inside the apartment, pins the younger on the wall and presses his lips to the other. "I miss you" said the older. 

Jaehyeong then moves his kiss to the younger's cheek, his jaw and leaves a hickey on Jaehwan's shoulder. Jaehyeong's hand slipped inside Jaehwan's t-shirt and continued pulling up the t-shirt before Jaehwan pushes Jaehyeong’s body slowly. 

"Hyung, i'm not in a mood to making out now. I'm a bit tired." Jaehwan's staring straight to the older's eyes and through his eyes begging him not to make a further skinship. 

"Huh? I'm sorry i made a sudden move like that because we haven't met for two weeks so..." Jaehyeong looks disappointed and awkward now.

"I miss you too. But, i'm a bit tired now. Why don't we watch a movie instead." Jaehwan says that as he escorts his boyfriend to the living room trying to divert his boyfriend’s mind who's disappointed earlier. They choose to watch an action movie after that. 

***

The sky looked so bright in Sunday afternoon in Joseon era. Jaehwan with someone sat by The Han River. They were surrounded by weeds. His head laid on the-boy-beside-him's shoulder. 

"Yeoeul hyung, thank you." Jaehwan said.

"For what Dohae yah?" Yeoeul said. Now, Jaehwan finds out new information that his name was Dohae and his lover's name was Yeoeul.

"For being here beside me." Jaehwan which was Dohae replied. 

"Thanks for letting me here too. How was your tutoring?" Yeoeul asked. Seems Jaehwan being a tutor in his past life. 

"The prince looked tired. I feel bad for him because he has to learn so many things to become a king in such a young age." Dohae showed a pitied face. 

"Life in this monarchy is so cruel. Sometimes we don't know who friend, who enemy. They can kill among brothers just to get the throne. That's why they learn so many things since they were young" Yeoeul said.

"Hyung, you won't betray me like that, right?" Dohae pulled his head up to see the older's face and waited for his reply. Yeoeul's face changed suddenly.

"I'm hurt you're questioning my faithfulness," Yeoeul replied. 

"I'm sorry. I'm scared you will leave me." Dohae explained. 

"I'm more scared," Yeoeul said as he caressed Dohae's head. 

 

Jaehwan wakes up from his dream. He takes a deep breath and tried to recall his dream. He mentioned the name Dohae and Yeoeul many times to strengthen the memory of the name. His eyes look at his side and find his boyfriend is in his deep slumber. The dream felt so real as if he just dated someone else and somewhat it makes him feels guilty to his boyfriend.   
_Hyung, i'm sorry._

Deep down inside his heart, he can feel how big the love Donghae had to Yeoeul. Every time the dreams come, Jaehwan starts to feel something too. The boy named Yeoeul also reaches his heart little by little.

 

***

Jaehwan asked Minhyun to meet. He wants to gather some information about him and his lover in the past life. They promised to meet after work. 

Jaehwan came first at the restaurant they agreed to meet. Not long after, Minhyun came too. That's not the first time they meet but Jaehwan still can't get away from the thought that Minhyun has a really nice body. They exchange smiles after their eyes meet each other. 

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Jaehwan can't resist asking that question. Minhyun was taken aback with the question. 

"I never had a relationship with anyone before," Minhyun replied.

"Ey... I don't believe you" Jaehwan made a cringed face.

"I didn't lie. I always shy to confess my feeling to someone i love." Minhyun chuckled. 

"Including me?" Jaehwan made a sudden joke which made Minhyun startled. 

"Yah, how come you're shy because of that joke?" Jaehwan laughs so hard seeing Minhyun's face color changed so quickly. 

   
***  
"Hyung, have you heard about Dohae and Yeoeul who live in Joseon era?" Jaehwan asks while he slices the steak he has in the restaurant. 

Minhyun almost chokes after the question being asked but he manages to answer.

"They are famous tutors in Joseon era. They tutored the princes and princess at their era. Why did you ask?" Minhyun answered it after he sipped his tea. 

"How do you know about it? They didn't play big roles in Joseon era." Jaehwan tried to make sure that what's Minhyun's said was true. 

"Their name mentioned in some literacies. And also, Yeoeul is really famous with his poems. He always gave it to his boyfriend, Dohae." Minhyun seems to know a lot about Yeoeul and Dohae. Jaehwan's eyes got bigger after hearing the explanation from Minhyun. He thinks that he made the right decision to ask Minhyun about that.

"Where did you find it? I want to get the sources." jaehwan asked.

"I have a lot in my house. You can come to my place." Minhyun suggested.

 

***

Minhyun lets Jaehwan comes in his place. Jaehwan's eyes roaming around the house which is not too spacious but so clean and cozy. He prepares their drink while Jaehwan sits on the couch. 

"Do you want some soju too?" Minhyun offered. Thinking about how long Jaehwan didn't drink and how tempting to taste it again Jaehwan replied, "sure"

 

He can't stop reading anything Minhyun gave him earlier. One by one it fed his curiosity about Yeoeul and Dohae until it was late at night. Minyun falls asleep on the couch while accompanies Jaehwan who is busy reading the sources. 

After he read the last source, he's in silent for a moment. Coincidently, Minhyun wakes up at the right moment and sees the scene. 

"What happened?" Minhyun asked.

"They died," Jaehwan answered. His voice heard shaky. It's ridiculous, Jaehwan thinks if he cries over him in the past and his past lover's deaths. Jaehwan just didn't expect Dohae and Yeoeul would died at a young age. It's scary imagining they saw each other's death. Minhyun holds Jaehwan's cheek and pulls it to face him. Jaehwan's eyes look red as if he will cry the soon after. Minhyun gives him a hug.

"How did you cry over someone who died thousand years ago?" Minhyun pats the younger head. Weirdly, Jaehwan feels so much better after the hug. He circles his hands around Minhyun's waist as if he doesn't want to let it go. Minhyun waits for the younger to let go of the hug. Everything in Minhyun magically can heal almost all jaehwan's worriedness. Either with his eyes, his smile, and this time, his embrace.

"Yeoeul..." Jaehwan whispers with no sound. He remembers his last night dream when Dohae and Yeoeul sat next to each other by the Han River. The feeling Jaehwan got this time is the same with the feeling he's got on the dream. Minhyun's shoulder where his head rests now reminds him of Yeoeul. 

 ***  
Minhyun and Jaehwan sit in the balcony accompanied by soju. It was some weeks since the last time Jaehwan drank alcohol. He sips some shots of soju without realizing his alcohol tolerance is decreasing since he hasn't drink for some time.   
"You are such an easy-going person, hyung" Jaehwan suddenly makes a conclusion while sipping a small glass of soju.   
"Why did you say that?" Minhyun looks curious now.  
"Because you treat me as if we already know for a long time. Not like most of the people in our society." Jaehwan implied.   
"Huh? Is that so? I'm just doing what i think is right." Minhyun answered.  
"And you made me call you hyung in our second meeting too." Jaehwan continued. Minhyun chuckled.  
"So, do you want to call me Minhyun-ssi again?" Minhyun laughs soullessly. Jaehwan shakes his head.   
"No. Because i like to call you hyung." Jaehwan's voice heard unsteady now due to alcohol.   
"Well, so is everything okay now?" Minhyun asks again.   
"Everything is okay now but i don't know about the future." Jaehwan is literally drunk now. Minhyun takes the glass from the younger's hand before he could sip another glass.   
"What do you afraid about the future?" Minhyun keeps digging Jaehwan's mind.  
"I'm afraid, i will fall for you because you're too kind to me." Jaehwan's hand trying to find his glass but Minhyun already hide it from his sight because the younger drank too much.   
"So what if you fall for me?" Minhyun uses this change, Jaehwan's drunk condition, to ask more.   
"That's a disaster hyung. I have a boyfriend. If you love me too, i might hurt my boyfriend, but if you don't reciprocate my feeling, I'm the one that will hurt. And if you love me too, i can't leave my boyfriend. I will be sad because i can't be with you and you'll get hurt too." Jaehwan almost faint now. Minhyun keeps silent.   
_So, don't fall for me jaehwan ah._

Minhyun stands up from his seat after realized Jaehwan should be moved inside at that state.   
"Jaehwan ah, you're really drunk! Let's go inside." Minhyun helps Jaehwan to stand up and escorts the younger to his room. Minhyun lets the other sleep in his room while himself sleeps on the couch in the living room. 

***

Jaehwan's phone rang many times made Jaehwan woke up at 7 in the morning. 

_Where am i?_

His eyes roaming around the unfamiliar room and he remembers that he's in Minhyun's apartment, not long after.

 

He looks at his phone and there are 10 missed calls from his boyfriend. He calls him back and gets scolded many times by his boyfriend. 

Suddenly Minhyun shows up and says. 

"You woke up?"

 

Seems, Minhyun's voice can be heard by Jaehyeong, because he's got angrier. 

 

"Who is that?" Jaehyeong shouted on the phone. Jaehwan afraid his boyfriend would get it wrong.

"Hyung, listen. There is something i need to learn from my friend but i was so into it till it was late and i got drunk a bit last night." Jaehwan tried to explain. 

"Did you sleep over in his place? Who is he?" Jaehyeong seems doesn't care about the story behind it. 

"Yes. It's Minhyun hyung." Jaehwan somehow doesn't want to spill the name. 

"I don't like you to see him. Don't meet him again and go out from his place now." Jaehyeong doesn't beg or ask, he commands Jaehwan to not meet Minhyun again. It is for many times Jaehwan is upset with his boyfriend being possessive.

 

***

Dohae walked toward the lake inside the palace. Yeoeul already waited for him there. The older turned around welcoming his lover. They hugged each other when they reached a close distance. 

"So we will be separated for 6 months?" Dohae asked Yeoeul with a pouty face. 

"Yes. King will send me to the other region to teach children there. It needs a week to reach there by horse. I will be missing you so much Dohae yah." Yeoeul said.

"I will be missing you too. Promise me that you will come back again." Dohae begged

"I promise," Yeoeul replied while looking at the younger before he took out an ivory colored paper and put it onto Dohae's hand. 

"Read it, everytime you miss me." Yeoeul continued. Dohae nodded and he took out a pink colored stone from his pocket. He placed it inside a small pocket with a long fiber line. 

"It's Rose Quartz Stone. Place it near your heart. They said it can open someone's heart center and restores love and trust. I want you to feel that i'm always with you." Dohae drapes the necklace around the older's neck. 

Yeoeul holds the necklace, looked surprised.

"So you prepared something for me too? The stone is so beautiful." Yeoeul looked so happy and sent his happiness through the lips. He gave Dohae a soft kiss which is reciprocated by Jaehwan. 

 

***

The more Jaehwan gets dreams and visions of his past life, the more he's immersed with the situation as if he's inside Dohae's body, which is true. The more he knows Yeoeul, the more his feeling to Yeoeul grows. 

  
_No wonder i was deeply in love with Yeoeul in the past life. Yeoeul has something in him which i can't get away from._

  
The last dream reminds him of the rose quartz stone he saw in the museum that he usually visits almost every week. Such a coincidence, Minhyun also asks him to come to the museum where the Rose Quartz Stone placed. Jaehwan wants to go there too.

"I want to show you something," Minhyun says it on the phone. 

When Jaehwan arrives at the museum, Minhyun has already waited there. His face brightens when he sees the latter. 

"Come here!" Minhyun grabs Jaehwan's hand and escorts him to the letters area. He doesn't look hesitate at all. The feeling comes again. For the second time he thinks Minhyun is resembled Yeoeul by the way he grabs Jaehwan's hands. Yeoeul ever dragged him like this at the library when he asked him to date the older. 

They stop in front of 2 letters inside a box with the title "Yeoeul's love letters". 

"This is letters Yeoeul gave to Dohae." Minhyun said.

The papers look darker compared to the ones he received at his dream. Jaehwan often sees all relics in this museum, including this one but he didn't know that the letters were for him in the past.

There finally, he can read what's inside the letters. He's so curious about the contents before but he woke up before he read the letters. 

 

Inside the letter 1.

 

_By reading this letter, you must be already missing me. I can imagine how i miss you too. It's so nice to have someone waiting for me after a long journey. How i thankful to have you._

_Dohae yah, even now i already miss you. How can i resist myself to not missing you when i was there?_

 

The letter 2.

_I come across you playing with the prince and his cousins at the park near the prince's place. You looked so happy and the children also looked very cheerful. That's such an endearing scene for me. I can't call you because i was in a hurry at the time. I wrote this message by the lake inside the palace. Our favorite place to meet. Let's meet  here again after i come back._

 

Minhyun looks at Jaehwan's face who's reading the letters. He smiles when he sees the younger's face smiling unconsciously. Minhyun also doesn't realize that he stares at Jaehwan since the beginning the younger read the letters. Only after he finished reading it all, Jaehwan looks up at Minhyun who has been staring him deeply and long. For a third time, Minhyun reminds him to Yeoeul. It feels like a staring Yeoeul always gave him.

_Please, don't look at me like that._

Jaehwan looks away, pretends nothing's happened. 

 

Jaehwan moves to the Rose Quartz Stone gallery box. His favorite relics. It is the first time he sees it after he knows the truth behind the story of the stone. One of the stones placed there is the stone he gave to Yeoeul. 

 

"You know what. This stone is my favorite relic in this museum." Jaehwan told Minhyun.

"The stone is indeed beautiful," Minhyun replied.

"It feels like home." Jaehwan continued.

   
***  
Minhyun drives Jaehwan to his apartment. 

"You look happy today." Minhyun starts the conversation after minutes he drove his car.

"I'm glad i showed you that." He continues after he took a glance to the younger.

"Thank you for telling me about the letter, hyung.” Jaehwan replies while seeing Minhyun who is busy looking at the front.

They keep silent for some time. Jaehwan looks at his left side where Minhyun in silence looks at what’s in front of him. It is almost 2 months since he knows the latter. The man he's seeing more often than his own busy boyfriend these days. Suddenly, his heart feels like burst out of happiness.   
_I want to feel this moment for a long time._

“Why do you like anything about Yeoeul and Dohae?" Jaehwan then asks him out of curiosity. Thinking about how many sources about Yeoeul and Dohae Minhyun keeps neatly in his apartment. There is silence for a moment before Minhyun said it.

"It's because of Dohae."

The answer makes Jaehwan taken aback. Knowing that he's Dohae, it makes him nervous.

"Why him?" Jaehwan asked more.

"I think, i fall for him," Minhyun answered.

Minhyun doesn’t look like he’s kidding now but Jaehwan tries to control himself and makes a joke to cover his nervousness.

"Hyung, how could you love him? he already has a boyfriend and he lives in the past." Jaehwan tugs Minhyun's hand.

"Should i fall for you instead?" Minhyun attacks Jaehwan with another joke which increases the heartbeats that haven't slower yet from the previous Minhyun's confession. 

"Ah, right, you already have a boyfriend too." Minhyun's expression changes to couldn't-read expression after saying that.

Minhyun doesn't know how Jaehwan wants the joke he said earlier was true. Jaehwan feels like Minhyun giving him hope, and he knows, it's so wrong to fall for another person.

 

They arrive in front of Jaehwan's apartment. Jaehwan pulls off the door and asks no one about why the rides is so short. He closes the door and tilts his head to fit the window so the latter can see his face fully. He is contemplating many times to say something,

"Do you want to have a tea? My mom just sent me some packs of health tea from Jeju yesterday." Jaehwan said it after all.

***

Jaehwan doesn't believe himself. His boyfriend just forbade him to meet Minhyun while he is now with the man in his apartment.  _Alone_.   
But only deep inside his heart knows, he wants it.   
He makes 2 cups of tea and sends it to the living room where Minhyun waits for him.

"Should we order some delivery foods?" Jaehwan offers Minhyun to take dinner in his apartment when the two sits on the couch. 

"Do you have some ingredients in your refrigerator? I can cook it for us." Minhyun suggests. 

 

It turns out, Minhyun is a good cook. Jaehwan helps in small things like deliveries some ingredients and cops some onions.   
"Hyung, do you often cook?" Jaehwan asks as he sees Minhyun chooses the ingredients in the refrigerator. Minhyun is scanning the refrigerator. Based on what's inside there, Minhyun thinks that he can make kimchi jigae. He mentions the ingredients and Jaehwan helps him brings them out and cleans them. Their preparation runs smoothly and full of laughter.

"Jaehwan ah, please cops some onions." Minhyun asks the latter while he cops some vegetables.

"Yes, hyung." Jaehwan takes some onions, peels and cops them.

"Ah, hyung why did you make me cry?" Jaehwan stops copping for a while because his eyes burn now. Minhyun laughs at the scene. He turns his body to see the younger. Jaehwan also turns to him and pulls his head up to get away from onion's sense. Minhyun chuckles. He held Jaehwan's face with his two hands and pulled it before he blows the younger's eyes several times.

"Is it better now?" Minhyun asked.

"Yeah, it's much better now," Jaehwan replies as he blinks his eyes several times. He continues copping the onions and becomes more quite after that.

"Hyung, the onions are ready," Jaehwan says it right after he finished it. He turns to face the latter.

"Okay, wait. I'll finish it first." Minhyun replied.

Jaehwan lays his back on the table in his kitchen. He's waiting for Minhyun to take the onions. All he can see at the time is Minhyun's back. He admits that the latter has a really nice body and the shoulder and the back seems to call him in. The onions is placed right on the table behind him. Minhyun turns around his body and it makes them stand face to face.

"Are the onions ready?" Minhyun asks and Jaehwan nods.

Actually, he doesn't understand why Jaehwan should stand there and gets in the way of him to reach the onions, Minhyun move his body closer to Jaehwan to take the onion. Their body have no gap now when he hears Jaehwan's heavy breath right in his left ear and Minhyun can feel it that the younger's heart beats really fast. Minhyun was taken aback for a while. He looks at Jaehwan in the eyes to check on the younger. The younger’s eyes look him deeply as if asking him to kiss him.   
Never Minhyun thought about that when he agreed to come to Jaehwan's apartment and he already buried the desire to have the younger deep inside his heart long before.   
_But what should i do if you're the one who asked? How can i resist myself when you give me hope?_ Minhyun said inside.

 

They pull each other and kiss passionately. As if it was so long they haven't kiss anyone. The two don't want to let go of each other for a long time. Never Jaehwan felt as happy as he feels now. He knows he falls in love, but he doesn't know to whom he falls for to. Is it to Minhyun as himself or is it to Minhyun who resembles Yeoeul?

_It can't be. We can't be like this. It's so wrong._

Jaehwan hugs Minhyun immediately after they release their kiss.

"I love you." Part of Jaehwan's doesn't want to say it, but the other part of him makes the words come out from his mouth. Minhyun hugs the younger tighter as a reply.   
"let's we forget about our situation just for a while. Let us be like this for now." Jaehwan whispered.   
 

***

The next morning, Minhyun sends Jaehwan a message. A sudden goodbye.

 

"My company will send me to Japan for indefinite time. I don't know when i can meet you again. I'll say my farewell here. Hope you do well with your life. Our kiss last night is my first kiss. I like you too, Jaehwan ah. I'm sorry i tried to sway your feeling before. Hope everything's alright with your boyfriend. See you again."

 

Jaehwan speechless. He doesn't expect he would be apart with Minhyun this fast. Only after a night, he's sure about his feeling, the other person left him.  
Never thought that it would felt so empty.   
 

***   
_Spring Breeze_

_The coldness of winter that hurt your heart_

_May spring breeze come to warm it_

_Like a gentle hands wipe your tears_

_I'll come to you, the flower of my heart_

_To bloom your smile like roses when it's blooming_

_I'll come to you, the home where my heart belongs to_

_To shine your heart like a sunflower when it's blooming_

 

Dohae reads the third letter Yeoeul gave him. He cries in silence. 

 

***

Not many changes in Jaehwan's life after Minhyun disappear from his life. Knowing him for 3 months such a short phase. People said that if we are happy, the time runs faster. That's why his meeting with Minhyun feels so short because Jaehwan was happy going through the day. Minhyun also filled something that is missing when coincidently Jaehyeong too busy with his works which made them rarely meet. 

  
_It was felt like a dream_ , Jaehwan said.   
_Was it a dream when i met Minhyun hyung? Was he even real?_

Yeoeul that he often meets in his dream these days feels more real than Minhyun who already disappear in his life.

It was Friday in the afternoon, Jaehwan got a message from Jaehyeong. His boyfriend gave him a link to a youtube video of the older's account. The video shows many moments of Jaehwan and Jaehyeong in all a year they are in a relationship. The collections of photos and video's compiled in one video. The two of them looked very happy and in love. Jaehwan smiles in the entire video. He didn't realize that they already have gone through a year. He still remembers the first time Jaehyeong confessed to him. Jaehyeong looked so gentle in Jaehwan's eyes at the time because he's so brave to make a confession in front of their friends. As if he didn't afraid Jaehwan would reject him. That's what made Jaehwan attracted to him. In the last video, there is a line, "you're invited to Jae-Jae couple anniversary party at Jaehyeong apartment, on Dec 30th, 2018. Please make a reservation by sending a virtual hug and kiss before you give the real ones at the venue."

Jaehwan chuckled a bit after watching the entire video. Rarely, he sees the cute side of his boyfriend like that. Then, he makes a plan to give his boyfriend a surprise too. 

 

The Dec 30th finally arrives. In the afternoon Jaehwan calls his boyfriend and says that he can't come tonight because the company just called him to come to the office as soon as possible because there is something he has to do. It is part of his surprise, of course. Then, he goes to a cake shop and buys a cake which there is a note above it, written: "let's do it tonight". As long as their relationship exist, they never make out other than kissing. Jaehwan always refused to do more than that because he has never sure about his feeling. He only knows that he cares for his boyfriend but about the other more special feeling, he doesn't know himself. 

 

That was 8 pm, Jaehwan gets inside Jaehyun's apartment in silence to surprised his boyfriend. Jaehyeong already decorated the apartment with a romantic theme. Balloons everywhere, completed with roses and aromatic candles in every corner of the apartment. There is a line made by big balloons that said, "i love you" on the most feasible wall. Jaehwan feels so special seeing it all. While looking for his boyfriend in tiptoeing, Jaehwan heard moans from his boyfriend's room. He's a bit startled hearing that as he never knows that his boyfriend do "it" himself. He walks toward the room only to find out that there were two naked men there. They are making out. 

 

Jaehwan is so shock watching the scene to the extent he accidentally drops the cake on the floor. The two men inside the room jump out of shock too. Jaehyeong uses his boxer in hurry and catches up Jaehwan. 

"Jaehwan, please forgive me!" Jaehyeong begs whilst grabs Jaehwan's hand. The tears already falling down on his cheek. Jaehwan feels so betrayed. 

"Let go of me! Don't call me again. I'm not your boyfriend anymore." Jaehwan screams in his crying. Jaehyeong is surprised looking at a new side of Jaehwan. The younger never mad at him like that.

"It's all because of you. In our a year of the relationship, you never love me. You never said 'i love you' to me and you always made excuses everytime i want to touch you. He gives me everything you have never given me." Jaehyeong says every hurtful word that Jaehwan always afraid it would come from his boyfriend's mouth because all of them are true.   
Jaehwan admits and more realizes he never truly in love with his boyfriend after the latter said it so. But, he won't lie that it's hurt being betrayed by someone he trusts all this time. Aside from that, he can't defend himself as he falls for someone else too which makes him in the same level.   
He feels being so stupid now. He used to pretend that he loves his boyfriend too and gave him many false hopes. He pretended to be happy with him but actually, he's not. He is disappointed of himself.

All of Jaehyeong’s words said everything, even something that were not spoken out. It turned out the stranger inside Jaehyeong’s room now isn’t only a random one-night-stand boy to fulfill his boyfriend desire. The stranger is his secret love. Jaehyeong also didn’t catch Jaehwan up after the younger got out from his apartment with swollen eyes and much tear still fall down. As if Jaehyeong lets him go away. Just like that, they become strangers in only a flash of time.

_I thought i know you more._

   
Jaehwan walks in hurry. He doesn't know where to go. He looks for a number on his phone and calls someone. The operator replies his call and says, "the number you're calling is not active. Please leave a message after beep sound."

 

"Minhyun hyung, i broke up with my boyfriend. I'm so hurt right now. I'm so disappointed of myself. And all that i think right now is you. I don't know why i miss you more now. I miss your embrace that weirdly always can make my heart feels better. Please say that i already do my best."   
Weirdly, he sobs harder.

_Who i cry for? Jaehyeong who betrayed me or Minhyun who i missed a lot. I don't know._

Minhyun’s leaving never felt so real.

 

***

Months passed. He continues doing his life like normal. The difference of his life this time is his phone wasn't as active as before because he used to call his boyfriend every day. The past life dreams still appear in his sleep. The dreams of how Dohae missed Yeoeul who was still worked in another region. In his dreams, Dohae kept reading the spring breeze poem that had made by his lover. 

 

_Spring Breeze_

_The coldness of winter that hurt your heart_

_May spring breeze come to warm it_

_Like a gentle hands wipe your tears_

_I'll come to you, the flower in my heart_

_To bloom your smile like a rose when it's blooming_

_I'll come to you, the home where my heart belongs_

_To shine your heart like a sunflower when it's blooming_

 

The poem was the most favorite letter his lover ever had given him. 

Dohae used to read it everytime he missed his lover which made him miss the older more. So often he dreams about it, Jaehwan now remembers all of the words of the poem. 

 

Until more than 6 months of waiting, Dohae lose hope and thought that his lover already had forgotten him because he hadn't come back even after 6 months. Dohae felt so dissappointed and mad at the same time to theextentd he burnt his most favorite letter. The Spring Breeze poem. Even so, he couldn't erase every word there in his mind. Sometimes he unconsciously recited it which made the prince asked him. 

"Teacher, what did you recite? Is that a lesson i should learn when i grow up?" The young prince asked. Dohae chuckled hearing that.

"It's nothing. You don't have to learn it." Dohae patted the prince's head several times. 

   
***

Jaehwan stands by the lake inside the Gyeongbokgung Palace which now become a popular historical place in Seoul. At the place, Dohae met again with Yeoeul after 7 months of waiting. Because of some urgent matters, Yeoeul should extend his stay in the other region before he came back to the palace. 

 

Not much past life dreams after that since not long after Dohae and Yeoeul met again, the palace was being attacked by the enemy and killed many soldiers and government officers. The school in the palace where Dohae and Yeoeul worked became one of the attacked places because the enemy wanted to stop the new generation of the monarchy. 

Dohae and Yeoeul tried to save the students’ life when the enemies got inside the school. The big number of enemies made the two young officials, Dohae and Yeoeul couldn't beat them. They were killed by the enemy soldiers in front of each other. They lied down beside each other. The two too weak to reach each other's hands when they lied down on the ground. Blood spread on the floor and their bodies. Tears were flowing from on their cheek. The two was getting more hurt seeing the other's hurt. 

"Let's love each other in the future as well. Let us be together in our next life." They talked with their eyes, too weak to say it. Not long after that, they closed their eyes slowly forever.

 

Jaehwan recalls the death scene that was come last night while looking at the Dohae and Yeoeul favorite lake in this historical place. The past life dream that always accompanies him in most of his nights is over now since Dohae and Yeoeul are no longer live in his dream.

_Now, you leave me too even before i meet you again in this world._

Some drops of tears flowing down without him realized, remembering the sorrow he’s got in the dream. The sadness and hurt he’s got at his end of life, couldn’t be healed yet in 7 hours after the dream. Jaehwan thinking about how his life in this past months, has many farewells. 

He feels like reciting the Spring Breeze poem. 

 

_The coldness of winter that hurt your heart_

_May spring breeze come to warm it_

_Like a gentle hands wipe your tears_

 

Someone suddenly reciting it together with him.

 

_I'll come to you, the flower of my heart_

 

Minhyun with his warm gaze came. Jaehwan turns his head and a bit startled knowing Minhyun knows the poem because no one knows it as Dohae burnt the letter already. It can't be found in the museum or anywhere else.  

 

_To bloom your smile like roses when it's blooming_

 

Minhyun continues reciting it alone now. They look at each other. 

 

_I'll come to you, the home where my heart belongs_

 

Minhyun walks closer to Jaehwan. He holds the two of Jaehwan's hands and looks at the younger with his warm gaze.

 

_To shine your heart like a sunflower when it's blooming_

 

"Long time no see, Dohae yah?" Minhyun says it after he recites all of the poems. Jaehwan's smile is blooming now just like how Yeoeul wanted Dohae to be. 

 

"you really came. I knew it that you were Yeoeul." Jaehwan's smile never as bright as now. They hug each other. 

"You know, how much i miss you?" Minhyun says. 

"Since when did you know that i'm Dohae?" Jaehwan asks. 

"Since you asked about Dohae and Yeoeul. You never change." Minhyun replies as he caresses Jaehwan's head.

"Let's go to my place and we talk about this." Minhyun releases their hug and holds Jaehwan's hand and escorts the younger to get out of the place. 

 

***

"I've got some dreams and vision too. And it all started after i saw you in the museum." Minhyun starts the conversation.

"Before i approach you, i often saw you at the museum every Sunday and you spent more time looking at the Rose Quartz Stone. I like you since then." Minhyun continues.

"Then why did you leave me and didn't contact me again after you kissed me and knew that i'm Dohae?" Jaehwan looks upset now. 

"I don't want us to be bad people. You have your own life. Our fate was just crossed each other. I didn't want to disturb and change what you'd been through just because i'm your boyfriend in the past. Even if we promise to be together again, doesn't mean we have the right to hurt anyone. After you said you love me, you don't know how happy i was at the time. I wanted to steal you from Jaehyeong if i wasn't moved to Japan by my company. At the time i thought, we’re not meant to be together in this life." Minhyun explains. 

"What about you? How did you found out that i was Yeoeul?" Now Minhyun's turn to ask.

"The way you grab my hand, how warm your embrace, how comfortable your shoulder is. These all remind me of Yeoeul. And also, because of this." Jaehwan gives a quick kiss to Minhyun.

"Your kiss style didn't change at all." Jaehwan says it which triggered the older to try the kiss again. 

"Do you mean this?" Minhyun said it before he kisses the younger. Minhyun doesn't know what style he has when he kisses someone. He only does it the way his heart leads him. 

"I love you, Jaehwan ah" Minhyun said it after they release the kiss and Minhyun looks at Jaehwan in the eyes.

"I love you too, hyung." Jaehwan said it with a bright smile Minhyun never wants to lose again.

 

At last, our fate is something that we choose for ourself. But, when after we tried, something doesn’t work as how we wish, maybe that’s time for us to give up. And here i am, beside you because i choose you and it’s approved. 


End file.
